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How to win custody

Lawyer's secret:   The secret to winning custody is not making careless mistakes in your case - hire a seasoned custody lawyer that can guide your through the process.


Custody cases are generally complicated and emotional.  There is nothing more important to a spouse than having the control to protect one's child. Losing custody generally undercuts one's belief that they can keep their child safe and protected.


Because of this emotional dynamic, parents usually end up using much of their resources to obtain a custody result to their liking. Parents should be mindful, that we don't call it custody anymore - now what many parents want is being designated the "primary parent."


While there is no easy and fast answer to this topic, an attentive lawyer that can best use tact in a custody case is the best option. Tact doesn't cost money, and while you can roll out battle tanks in a custody case, the result would mirror what you would get with a smart tactful lawyer, at a fraction of the cost.  


Don't be fooled by "dad's rights" or "mom's rights" lawyers.  These folks have already lost the fight before it started.  This is true because the Court sees custody cases from a legal perspective called the "child's best interest standard."


This perspective is independent of what a parent desires, and if you're approaching the case from the wrong perspective, you'll end up losing your custody case.  So caution should be exercised when selecting a lawyer.


Some things that you should consider, when facing a potential custody case:  


(1) if you pay child support, do not stop payments or threaten to stop payments, as this will be seen as the true reason for the custody case -money driven.


(2) do not withhold visitation, and rather, you'll want to encourage contact between the child and the other parent - you don't want o be accused of parental alienation.  Most judges like to see a 50-50 parenting time schedule.

(3) try to keep contact with the other parent and be very good about keeping the other parent informed of doctor's appointments, school events, and other child's activities.

(4) Do not accept a new job that involves extensive travel or being away overnights - a custody case killer.

(5) Do not move out of the house where the children live.  This is a big no-no in custody litigation.

(6) Do not introduce the child to a significant other - never.  No excuses here.  Saying that it's just a friend is usually insulting to the judge and lawyers.

(7) You should try to hire a lawyer that really knows the ins and outs of a custody case. Hiring a lawyer that dabbles in custody is going to cost you your case; and

(8) If you feel that litigation has gotten out of control, it usually means that it has.  Make sure your lawyer knows how to handle the case with some tact, as opposed to non-stop court activity that will cost you a lot of money in attorney's fees.


Custody cases are unique in the sense that they involve issues of psychology, law, tact, and having a top-notch attorney on watch is likely the most important thing you should consider.

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